My Immortal
by BlueEyesXOX
Summary: It was in her nature to leave him and Jon knew that this time wouldn't be any different. So when she does finally come back, he has his mind open and his heart shut. But their past together will override his present, and Jon finds himself facing the most difficult decision of his life.
1. Chapter I

Dislcaimer: I do not own any of the characters you recognize, only my OC. The rest belong to George R. R. Martin.

Quick Author's Note: Hi readers! Firstly, would like to thank you all for taking a look at this fic...means a lot. Secondly, this story will start from the beginning of Series Four, but there will be flashbacks going as far back as the first ever episode, and there may be some AU here and there.

This is, of course, a Jon/OC fic. After watching the last episode of Season Five I couldn't help but make another fanfiction on him. And I know I need to update the others but I will be continuing them too. Image of OC's appearance is on profile.

Anyway, Review, Favourite, or Follow if you can. It would mean a lot.

* * *

 **Chapter I**

Jon Snow stared at the gathering of women that stood before him, his eyes occasionally flickering towards the pile of dead bodies that littered the ground outside of Craster's Keep. The former daughter-wives looked even worse than when he'd first laid eyes upon them. Many were covered in bruises or cuts, mostly around the eyes and mouth, but when he remembered Locke's information on the mutineers and what they'd spent the majority of their time doing in Craster's Keep, he had a feeling they bore worse wounds than those currently in plain view.

"It's not safe for you here on your own," he told them, "Mance Rayder has an army headed this way and there's worse out there than Mance." Jon stopped and sighed. "Come with us to Castle Black, we can find you work, keep you safe."

The eldest woman spoke up for them all. "Meaning all respect Sir Crow, Craster beat us...and worse. Your brother Crow's beat us and worse. We'll find our own way."

Jon knew there would be a small chance of them accepting his offer to return with him and the remaining men. The women had clearly been through the seven hells and back, partly caused by their father-husband, the other caused by men he'd once called his 'brothers'. So it was no surprise to him when they refused to be surrounded by more men of the Night's Watch.

Jon looked around him at the partly burning home and said, "You want to stay here, in Craster's Keep?"

The eldest woman looked at one of the younger daughters before quickly spitting on the floor. "Burn it to the ground." She spat. "And all the dead with it."

A few short moments later Jon, the remainder of his men, and Craster's daughter-wives, stood a good pace away from the Keep, watching as the Keep burned to the ground. Black smoke filled the dark skies along with the smell of burning flesh: Jon and his men had thrown the rest of the bodies onto the flames once the fire grew.

Jon wasn't sure how he felt in that moment. He watched the flames grow higher and higher until they passed the tops of the trees surrounding the Keep, and he could only hope that the wood wouldn't catch fire: Bella would've hated it if it had. He could remember her voice and the emotion she showed when explaining it to him.

 _"The forests are older than even me and they should be respected...not set alight by idiotic mortal men."_

Even now, when it had been nearly more than a year since he'd first seen her, he could not block out her melodic voice: He couldn't block out anything about her. She inhabited his every dream, memories of them together were all that he could think of, even as he'd laid with Ygritte he could not escape Bella. Whenever the wind blew he thought of her and her promise to him, her very words on repeat in his head: That'd been the day she'd left him alone.

 _"Every time the wind sings, know that it is my reminder to you that I am always here, and you must listen carefully. Because one day Jon Snow, one day you will hear my voice, and on that day you will know that I am coming back, that I am returning for you. I promise you."_

And every day afterwards he'd paused when the wind blew, closing his eyes in the hopes he'd be able to concentrate better and would finally hear her beautiful voice...but it never came. And soon he stopped listening; Stopped waiting. Now when the wind blew he no longer longed to hear her, she served only as a memory now, one that he would never forget.

~...~...~

Jon later sat in his chambers with Ghost sleeping soundly at his feet: Once again he was thinking of her. He'd never forget the day he'd first seen her, how he, his father, his brothers, Theon, and Sir Rodrik had been investigating the death of a large Stag on their way home from a beheading. They'd followed a blood trail down the bank and towards the stream...and that was where they'd found her.

 _"Hello." She'd greeted formally, a strange look in her eyes: It was as though she'd been waiting for them._

 _There had been only men with them that day and with the state she was in Jon had been curious as to how she'd survived: The girl had been as naked as a new-born babe, her long, golden curls serving as the only source of coverage. Her hair had covered her breasts when she'd stood to face them, though her lower womanly-parts had been on full display to him and the others. And, as a man who'd never laid with a woman, he couldn't help but admire her form. Even his brother, Robb, a man who'd been with a good few women, couldn't keep his eyes off her. Jon was sure her beauty overpowered that of Margery Tyrell's, even though he'd never seen the woman with his own eyes, only heard stories of her good looks, he was convinced no other woman could tear his eyes away from this one._

 _Jon's father had been the first to gather himself, being the honourable one and covering the girl's body with his fur cloak. She'd taken it of course, although with a slightly confused look upon her face: It was as though she questioned their uncomfortableness with her naked body, wondering why she had to be covered. And little did Jon know then that in the weeks to come, he'd know why she was most at ease when wearing nothing at all._

Ghosts whining pulled Jon back from his thoughts, for which he was partly grateful. He'd never see Bella again: He'd given up hope a long time ago. Though he did hope that one day he'd forget all about her: About how she'd favoured him the most, how she'd convinced him that the Night's Watch was an honourable place, how she'd shown him a world not even Old Nan could describe, and more than anything he hoped to forget how she'd loved him, only to leave him soon after their declaration to each other.

When Ghost continued whining and got to his feet, scratching at the chamber door, Jon was suddenly on alert: The last time this had happened he'd wound up fighting a Wight. And since they'd brought back the bodies of their dead men from Craster's Keep, Jon wondered if one of them had rose again, if one of them had come back as a blue-eyed monster.

Jon quickly snatched his sword from the corner of the room and pulled open the chamber door, chasing after Ghost who bound through the halls and out into the courtyard. However he found himself curious when they exited the building: He found nothing. There were no wights, and it could not have been wildlings, he'd have heard the bells from atop the wall. So what was it?

Jon looked down towards Ghost. The wolf no longer whined and fidgeted as though feeling threatened by something, instead he sat soundly on the balcony where Jon stood, staring up at the night sky. It was freezing outside and Jon wanted nothing more than to get back to the warmth of his chamber...but Ghost would not have it. When he tried to go back inside, the direwolf moved in front of him, making sure that Jon did not go back inside.

But then he heard it.

Ghost must have heard it first with his hearing being a lot more acute than Jon's: His wolf ears had picked up on something Jon didn't. But now that Jon stood out in the courtyard, he realised what it was Ghost wanted him to hear. And for the first time in a long while, Jon closed his eyes and let his muscles relax, his fingertips tingling as the wind blew once more: It was then that he heard it clear as day.

It was _her._ Jon could convince himself that he was hearing things, that his mind was playing tricks on him, but he knew the truth. She'd promised him that one day she would come back for him, and even though he knew she'd have to leave eventually it was all he wanted, to see Bella once more. But now that he knew she was coming, he found himself unsure. He couldn't protect her here, not with Mance Rayder's army closing in on the Wall. If they attacked he knew Bella wouldn't survive.

Another curious, and slightly worrying, question appeared in his mind. Why was she coming back now?

 _'Jon...'_

He heard it again and again and it would not stop: She was _definitely_ coming back for him. And when she did he'd be ready, when she did he'd have his mind open and heart shut: She would not take his heart again.

* * *

Author's Note:

I know it's very short but this is just the start of the story. Hopefully you guys liked the first chapter and would like to see more, if so then please Review. Thanks guys!


	2. Chapter II

Author's Note:

Hi guys! Just a quick heads up: The bits written in _Italic_ will be the flashback scenes, if you hadn't already figured it out...just thought I'd let you know! Also, thank you so much for the Reviews so far, along with the fave's and follows, they mean a lot. Also, if you have any questions don't be hesitant to ask!

* * *

 **Chapter II**

 _Jon laid back against the fur pillows decorating his bed, an amused smirk on his face as he watched the golden haired girl dance gracefully around his room._

 _They'd fallen into a natural routine during the few weeks she'd been in the castle. Every night since the first, she'd come to his chambers, each time becoming less uncomfortable and more...interesting. The girl had been given her own chambers of course, courtesy of his father and Lady Stark, but she insisted on residing in his. And though at first he'd been slightly apprehensive about the entire thing, eventually Jon had relaxed and learnt to adjust to the newcomer. Though he had suspicions that she'd have come to his chambers no matter how he felt about it: He'd learnt quickly that the strange girl knew nothing of personal space and boundaries between common people. She always kept him on his toes, so to speak._

 _Jon still had no clue of where she'd come from. He was sure that as soon as they'd brought her back to the castle his father had to have spoken to her, or at least attempted to find out why the girl had been naked that strange morning...but he hadn't. If his father knew anything about the girl Jon was sure word would have spread, someone had to know which family she belonged to: Jon had assumed she was noble, her hair was too fine and clean for her to be a working girl. And if she was a noble, then he himself could not touch her, Robb? Yes, him? No. He was just a bastard._

 _"Please tell me," he finally spoke._

 _The girl stopped dancing and smiled at him playfully. "What would you like me to tell you?" The tone of her voice seemed confused but her eyes betrayed her: She knew what he longed to know._

 _Jon lightly rolled his eyes and said, "Your name."_

 _Every night she came to him and every night he asked her the same question: He wanted to know her name. It seemed as though she had yet to inform anyone of her name, and while Jon had, at first, assumed that she didn't tell them so that they couldn't locate her family, it'd by now become clear that it was not the case. She could have given them a false name if she wished it, yet she gave them nothing, not even his father and Lady Stark knew._

 _She smiled once again and moved towards his bed, shifting her skirts so that she could get comfortable: Lady Stark had made it a priority to dress the newcomer. "I don't have one." She told him._

 _Jon frowned and moved from the head of the bed to where she now sat, bringing his legs over until his bare feet touched the cold stone. "You don't have a name?" He asked with slight disbelief._

 _"No, I don't." She confirmed. The look of complete content on her face showed that she had no problem with the fact._

 _"But-but everyone has a name." Jon stuttered, "You must have one?"_

 _"Oh, I have been called many things," she began, a thoughtful look in her eyes. "Maiden, lady of the forest, witch, goddess: They always change."_

 _Jon pursed his lips and said, "But you must have something permanent, or else how would anyone find you?"_

 _Jon suddenly felt a warmth on his hand and he looked down to find her white, almost gleaming, hand resting upon his own. Her hand stood out against his: His had dirtied from sparring with Robb and Theon earlier that day, and he had yet to bathe and rid himself of the grime._

 _He tried hard to resist touching her more as she shuffled a little closer to him, leaning in until her lips brushed against his right ear. "Then you give me a name." She whispered, slowly leaning back to watch his reaction._

 _"You-you need a good name," Jon managed, looking away from her blue eyes and staring at the wall in front of him, "something simple yet elegant...something that fits."_

 _"What name do you think would fit me, Jon Snow?"_

 _Jon made the mistake of looking at her. Her eyes drew him in every single time, and he couldn't help but glance at her lips. "Bella."_

A loud knock woke Jon from his dream. He groaned and rubbed at his eyes, squinting against the light as he sat straight in his bed. He'd half hoped to wake up home in Winterfell, in his large bed, warmed by wolf fur pelts, and Bella sleeping soundly in his arms once again...but he wasn't. As it was once again and always would be, he was here, at the Wall. In a small, barely warm, bed, with no one but men to talk to. Though he had to remind himself, the Wall hadn't been forced upon him, he'd chosen it, and now he was paying the price for that choice.

The knocking erupted once again and Jon shouted, "Who is it?!"

The wooden door creaked open and a sheepish looking Sam entered, a nervous smile across his face. "Good morning," He greeted.

"Is it Sam?" Jon asked his eyebrows raised.

Sam paused for a moment, "W-well, I suppose not,"

"What do you want, Sam?"

"Ser Alliser, he's holding a meeting, they're going to make a decision on our defences against the wildlings."

Jon sighed and said, "I'll be right there, just let me get dressed."

Sam nodded quickly and left the room, stumbling slightly as he bumped into the door as he went.

~...~...~

"We should seal the tunnel!"

Mutters of both disagreement and agreement arose in the room. Jon wasn't expecting Ser Alliser to agree with him, nor anyone else, no one had ever listened to him but now they would: They had to. He knew Ser Alliser had an extreme disliking for him but he didn't care, it wasn't his life Jon cared about, it was the remainder of Westeros that occupied his mind. If the wildlings were able to break through their defences then it would not take the white-walkers long to either, and if they flooded the tunnel leading to their side then maybe, just maybe, they had a fighting chance.

"Plug it with rocks and ice, flood it then let it freeze." Jon added, glancing at the men around him.

"And how will we range North?" Ser Alliser inquired.

Jon paused and said, "We wouldn't." He heard the insults his brothers threw at him, 'coward' being the main one, but once again he ignored their words.

"You would cut off our legs, pluck out our eyes, leave us cowering behind the Wall hoping for the storm to pass?"

"We can't defend the Wall against one hundred thousand men," One of Jon's close Watch brothers, Grenn, spoke up in Jon's defence.

Ser Alliser glared their way and said, "This Castle has stood for thousands of years, the Night's Watch have defended her for thousands of years, and in all those centuries we have never sealed the tunnel."

"Have you ever seen a giant, Ser Alliser?" Jon asked knowingly.

 _"You've seen giants? You've been North of the Wall?" He'd asked her in awe._

 _"Yes. Giants are...self conscious, you may say. They're not fond of being looked at, much less stared at."_

Jon shook his head quickly and subtly: He didn't want to hear her voice right now. He had more important matters to attend to, attempting to convince Ser Alliser and his brothers to seal the tunnel being one. He couldn't make Bella's return his main priority. Jon didn't know when she'd come back, he'd told himself that the night previous had merely been his mind playing tricks on him. He didn't want to wait for her to come back...he couldn't wait any longer.

At Ser Alliser's silence, Jon continued. "I have. The tunnel's gate won't stop them."

"The bars on those gates are four inches thick, cold steel," Ser Alliser stated.

"And they won't stop them." Jon pressed.

The men once again began spouting words of protest and Ser Alliser spoke once again. "Remind me which order you belong to Lord Snow."

Jon replied, though slightly reluctant, "The stewards."

"Are the stewards responsible for maintaining the tunnel?"

"No." Jon knew that Ser Alliser was trying to embarrass him, but he would not go back on what he'd said: Sealing the tunnel was their best bet.

"Who would that be?"

"The builders."

"Aye, the builders. First builder Yarwin," Ser Alliser began, turning to one of the men seated at his higher table, "Lord Snow here suggests sealing the tunnel, leaving us unable to carry out our duties as sworn brothers of the Night's Watch. Do you agree with him?"

All eyes turned to the man in question, who stayed quiet for a moment. And, in that second, Jon had small hopes that this man would agree, that he would let them seal the tunnel.

"No." Yarwin finally replied, shaking his head.

"Given your deep knowledge of the wildling army Lord Snow, you and Tarly will take night duties on top of the wall until the full moon." Ser Alliser commanded, a small, smug grin tugging at his lips.

Jon made a move towards the man, ready for a fight, only to be tugged down by Sam. His younger Night's Watch brother merely shook his head and Jon knew: Ser Alliser was not worth his time.

The meeting continued and Jon blocked out all other voices, going against his own promises by letting Bella's voice flow through his ears once more.

 _"The Wall is a dangerous place, Jon Snow, your honour may be all you have there. Stick to your words and do not take anything back, respect yourself, if not anyone else."_


	3. Chapter III

**Chapter III**

Jon stared out into the distance from his stance atop the wall, eyes roaming for any sign of the wildlings or Mance Rayder's signal fire. Four nights he and Sam had stood on top of that wall, and for four nights neither of them had seen anything. But he knew the wildlings were coming. Word of the attack on Mole's Town had arrived earlier that day and he knew, he knew that this time their night wouldn't end peacefully and without battle: Tonight was the night.

The wind blew hard and cold, though that night it seemed colder. Jon had hoped to hear Bella's voice once more travelling through the wind and to him, but he heard nothing. He'd even prayed the night previous, he'd prayed to see her again, or for her to show him that she hadn't disappeared for good, but his prayers had once again fell on the deaf ears of the gods.

"What was she like?" Sam spoke, breaking the slightly uncomfortable silence. Jon was slightly relieved by this: He _needed_ some form of distraction.

"She," Jon paused for a moment. He could only assume that Sam meant Ygritte: He hadn't told anyone of him and Bella, but Bella was the only woman that appeared in his mind. "she had red hair." He finally replied.

"Oh? How big were her feet?" Sam's tone was slightly sarcastic.

Jon rolled his eyes, slightly irritated. "Well what d'you want me to say?!"

"I want you to tell me what it was like to have someone." Sam clarified, "To be with someone, to love someone and have them love you back." Jon stayed quiet, but Sam was adamant on receiving an answer. "We're all going to die a lot sooner than I'd planned. You're the closest I'll ever get to knowing."

"You and Gilly never..." Jon trailed off but thankfully Sam caught on to what he was asking.

"Oh no, she'd just had a baby." Sam replied, as though the very idea of it were insane. After a short moment of silence he added, "And she never offered."

"But if she had? You would've? You'd have broken your vows?"

Sam stayed quiet for a second, though replied soon after. "The interesting thing is, our vows never specifically forbid intimate relations with women."

"What?" Jon asked, both amused and slightly confused.

"'I shall take no wife' yes, that's in there, there's no denying that, 'I shall father no children' it's very specific. But what our vows have to say about other...activities, are open to interpretation."

Jon chuckled. "I don't think Ser Alliser cares much for interpretation." He then turned and walked down from the ledge, hoping Sam would forget about his enquiries. But Jon wasn't that lucky.

"Anyway," his Night's Watch brother continued, following Jon down, "there's nothing for him to interpret. We _didn't._ " Sam was silent for a moment. "So, what's it like?" He pressed.

Jon rolled his eyes once more and knew that Sam would not leave him be till he answered his question: So he did. "It's," Jon paused and looked towards the skies in thought, "there's this whole other person. You're wrapped up in them and they're wrapped up in you, you...for a little...for a little while you're more than just you." He glanced back at Sam who wore a blank expression. "Oh I don't know! I'm not a bleedin' poet!"

"No, you're really not." Sam remarked.

"And what did I get for it? She left me...alone."

"The wildling girl?"

Jon winced. He hadn't meant to lose himself in his thoughts of Bella and Sam only knew of Ygritte. "Aye, she shot me full of arrows and left me alone."

Sam nodded in understanding and looked up, "I suppose we'll all be full of arrows soon."

"Aye, we will."

"They've already done the worst thing to me that they could ever do."

Jon sighed and patted Sam's shoulder sympathetically. He remembered what it was like to love someone, only to lose them soon after. "Go get some sleep Sam," He told him, "I'll take this watch."

Sam nodded his thanks and entered the lifter while Jon turned away, looking out towards the trees North of the wall. The wind blew once more and he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath as he fought against the cold. "Gods help me, bring her back."

~...~...~

 _"You, my love, need to relax." Bella told him, that beautiful smile once again gracing her face._

 _She'd been in the Castle for nearly three months now and things had certainly changed between them. Jon no longer felt apprehensive about her visits, he no longer spent his time worried over what could happen if they were caught: He didn't care anymore. Now he longed to see her face, to hear her voice as she told him tales of what she'd seen, to feel her warm skin beneath his palms. And as far as he knew she enjoyed the night's just as much as he...maybe even more. During the days she spent her time in the Godswood or the Wolfswood, sometimes she even spent time with Sansa and Lady Stark. But when the sun set she was his and his alone. Bella never spoke to him of the rest of his family, not even Robb: Her focus was solely on him._

 _"I assure you my lady, I am very relaxed." Jon grinned, gently gripping her hips as she straddled him._

 _Bella giggled and leaned back, looking down at him. "Why do you assume I am a lady?"_

 _Jon shrugged and said, "I don't know. You talk like a lady, walk like a lady, act like a lady-" He immediately stopped and groaned as Bella reached her hand back, rubbing him through his breeches._

 _"Do I love like a lady, Lord Snow?" She whispered, her eyes shining with mischief._

 _"No one could love me better than you, Bella." Jon had since moved up so that he was sitting, wrapping a strong arm around her waist to keep her there, while the other toyed with the ends of her golden hair._

 _Bella's smile stayed but at the same time changed. No longer was it mischievous and playful, it now seemed kind and loving: It was one of the things Jon loved about her. Not once had he ever seen her joyous expression fade as he had so many women before her. Bella was...different, she never seemed unhappy or angered by anyone. When she told him stories she wore a thoughtful and sometimes longing look on her face, but she never seemed sad or angry or hurt._

 _"If you are no a lady, then what are you?" Jon changed the subject, hoping to raise her spirits once again: It worked._

 _"I told you what I am." Bella replied, teasingly rolling her eyes._

 _"Tell me again." He said, his voice deepening as he trailed his fingers up her thigh._

 _"I am a maiden...of the forest." She muttered, closing her eyes as his hand slid higher._

 _Jon nodded, "And what else are you?"_

 _Bella opened her eyes and looked deep into his own. Jon stopped his movements as she looked at him, her eyes captivating him once more. The hand playing with her hair lightly gripped the back of her neck, bringing her face down closer to his._

 _"Do you love me, Jon?" She asked, her own hand stroking his cheek. Jon nodded and she continued, "Then I am yours, as long as you love me I am yours."_

 _~...~...~_

Sam Tarly exited the library, a mournful expression on his face. All he could think about was Gilly and baby-Sam. From what he'd heard of the wildling raid in Mole's Town, no one had survived the brutality of it, and he could only hope Gilly and the baby had escaped. He prayed to the seven that the wildlings had taken mercy on the two and let them leave, but his rational thought took over and he was reminded of how beastly the wildling men could be. Sam knew that some wildlings ate the people they killed and he quickly shook his head: No good would come of thinking such things. For now he could only hope and pray that they'd survived, even though he knew overthinking would slowly drive him insane.

"I'm sorry, I can't,"

Sam looked up and towards the gates. He could clearly hear Pyp telling someone they could not enter, but there was another voice...a woman's voice. And, after a moment of concentration, Sam realised that he knew the voice, and he rushed down towards the gates.

"Pyp!" He shouted, "Open the gate!"

"I can't." Pyp seethed, trying to be as quiet as possible.

"Sam is that you?!" The female voice exclaimed happily.

Sam ran towards the gates, overjoyed and relieved to hear Gilly's voice. "Yes! Open the gate." He said to Pyp.

"I've been given strict orders not to open the gate." Pyp replied, slightly pleading.

"Pyp, open the fucking gate!" Sam shouted, thinking it just may have been the first time he'd cursed. It seemed to work, however, as Pyp complied.

"I've never heard you curse before." Pyp stated, lifting the wooden plank holding the door closed.

Sam shrugged and said, "Yes...well...best get used to it."

As soon as the doors opened Gilly ran through holding little Sam, heading straight towards Sam himself. Pyp closed the door as soon as she entered, glancing around to make sure no one had seen him.

"Are you alright?" Sam asked her. She nodded and he looked towards baby-Sam, "Are you okay? Of course you are, you brave little fella."

"It was _horrible_!" Gilly exclaimed.

"I'm so, so sorry. I didn't know until I got back," Sam told her.

"Don't let them send us away Sam!"

"Never-"

"I know there's no women allowed but neither of us are leaving!"

"I know," Sam paused for a moment, "Us?"

Gilly nodded behind him and Sam turned. In front of him stood a woman...a beautiful woman at that. She wore a ragged cloak much like Gilly's, but with her hood down, her golden tresses fell down her back. And while Sam knew that Gilly held his heart, he had to admit to himself that this girl was like no other he'd seen.

"Hello Sam," The woman smiled, dropping into a small curtsey, "I'm Bella."


	4. Chapter IV

**Chapter IV**

The horn had been blown, that much he knew. And since there had been two blows, Sam could only guess that it was the wildlings: They were finally going to battle. And while Sam knew that he should've been preparing and gathering himself to fight the wildlings, he only had one thing on his mind...well, two things: Gilly and little Sam. As soon as he'd heard the horn's he'd known exactly where to take them, along with the newcomer, Bella. Sam wasn't exactly sure how he felt about her yet, though from the little Gilly had been able to explain to him, this woman had helped her escape Mole's Town safely and stay clear of the wildling gathering close by. So, for now, Sam trusted her.

Sam shakily unlocked the door to where they stored the meat and swung the door open. The smell of meat quickly reached his nose and he let Gilly and Bella enter after him. He watched as Gilly placed Baby-Sam in a nearby basket before coming towards him.

"You'll be safe down here," He said, looking at both women. Gilly looked nervous, while Bella seemed indifferent to all that was happening. "I'll come back once it's over."

"You're leaving me again?" Gilly asked, incredulous.

"I-I'm not leaving you,"

"You're going out there and we're staying down here, that's leaving. You said from now on we'd stay together."

"I-I didn't mean in the same room!" Sam exclaimed.

"And what are you going to do out there?!" Gilly asked.

Sam sighed and said, "Help my brothers."

"How?!" She demanded. "You're going to fight the free-folk when they come? They'll kill you. In Mole's Town they killed _everyone_!"

"Gilly, I can't just hide down here with you two while everyone else are fighting out there!" Sam glanced towards Bella and found the woman watching their interaction, her head tilted slightly with a curious look in her eyes.

"Why not?!" Gilly yelled: She didn't understand the seriousness of his vows. "You don't matter up there but you do down here!"

Sam looked down and took Gilly's hands in his own: He had to make her understand. "I am a man of the Night's Watch. I made a promise to defend the Wall and I have to keep it...because that's what men do." Sam then took a deep breath: It was now or never. He leaned in and quickly pressed his lips against Gilly's. Thankfully, she didn't reject him as he'd thought she would, but she didn't partake much either, he assumed she was in shock. He hoped it was the good kind of shock and not the bad kind, he wasn't sure if he'd be able to handle being turned down by a woman before he left for battle.

The kiss didn't last very long, it lasted seconds at the most, but it had been his and Gilly's first kiss...it'd been his very first kiss with anyone. And he was overjoyed that it'd been with her.

"Promise me you won't die." Gilly begged with wide, nervous eyes.

Sam smiled and said, "I promise you I won't die."

"Samwell," Sam turned his head at the sound of his name being called: It was Bella.

"Yes?"

"Is Jon alright?" She asked, much to his surprise.

"How do you know Jon?" He asked her, eyebrows furrowed in confusion and slight curiosity.

The woman, Bella, merely smiled and said, "He and I have a...a past. Don't let him know I'm here though, not until the fighting is done."

Sam didn't understand. She knew Jon but didn't want him to know she was here until the fighting had been finished and they'd won. Then again, the harder he thought about it the more sensible it seemed. Sam could only assume that Jon and Bella had been a little closer than friends: Only a man with a ridiculous amount of self-restraint could be alone with this woman and not pursue her, and from what he'd heard of Jon and the wildling girl, he doubted Jon had _that_ much self control. But if his thoughts were true, and Jon and Bella had been lovers once, then telling Jon she was here now would only distract him. And he'd surely be killed if his thoughts were on something other than the battle.

Sam finally nodded, "Of course."

~...~...~

The lifter slowly descended and Jon stared down at the gruesome scene before him. There were many wildlings, too many for him to count from where he now was, but thankfully they had a lot of men. Though from the looks of things, there were losses on both sides. Jon couldn't see Ser Alliser, nor Janos Slynt: Jon had a feeling the man was hiding somewhere, he seemed like the type from his actions up on the Wall. And Jon was slightly surprised that Sam hadn't gone into hiding yet. Maybe since his time North of the Wall he'd become braver, or maybe he was fighting to return to Gilly: Sam had made sure to let Jon know of Gilly's well-being and where she was hidden. Jon assumed that Sam told him this so that if Sam didn't live through this, there would be someone to go down into the storage room and let out Gilly.

Jon found himself slightly jealous over Sam. He couldn't say that he'd thought Sam and Gilly's relationship would have come to a happy end, if anything he thought Sam would've been caught staring at Gilly by Craster. But now Craster was dead. And Sam...well, he now had Gilly, and the babe that was not his, but Jon could tell Sam would raise the baby as though he were. But him? He had no one. Jon didn't have a woman or a child to fight for, he didn't have a good reason to survive. But right then, in that moment, he knew why he wanted to survive, why he wanted to fight. And that reason had one name: Bella.

"I don't want you out there." Jon told Sam, while his eyes remained on the fight below.

"You can't protect me forever! There won't be anywhere to hide once the castle falls." Sam stated.

Jon pulled out a key and handed it to a hesitant Sam. "I need him more than I need you." He said.

Sam nodded and Jon looked towards the scene once again. He said a silent prayer and kicked open the lifter doors, drawing his sword and jumping down to the ground before the lifter dropped itself.

 _"When you go to battle at that Wall Jon Snow, I want you to fight. Don't do it for me and don't do it for the realm, do it for yourself. I will see you again, my love, and when I do it will not be as you are travelling to meet your gods. Promise me you will keep fighting and I promise that I will return for you. Just wait, Jon."_

~...~...~

The fighting was done. It was over. At least for that night. Jon couldn't find it within himself to celebrate their victory, not yet. He couldn't get it out of his mind. The way Ygritte had died in his arms, her words to him, he'd known she loved him but even after spending all that time with her, could not find it in himself to love her back, all he'd done during their time together was think about Bella. He'd compared the two many times. Bella was calm, Ygritte had been slightly hot-tempered, Bella had been a slow lover, while Ygritte was wild and fast. And now that the red-headed wildling woman was dead he could only feel guilt. Guilt that he hadn't loved her back, guilt that he hadn't stayed with her, and guilt that he'd let her die. He also blamed Bella somewhat, for stealing his heart and not returning to him with it. Jon wondered if he'd ever held hers at all.

"We held them off." Sam tried. Jon knew his friend was only trying to cheer him up, but he was sure nothing could help him now.

"For one night." Jon stated.

"It was a great victory."

"Great victory?" Jon looked around the training yard at all the dead bodies. Their men had already started throwing them into a pile. "Mance was testing our defences and he almost made it through. He has more giants and he has more mammoths, he has a thousand times as many men. If they hit us again tonight, maybe we can hold them off for a day or two, but we'll never beat them."

"Where are you going?" Sam asked, hurrying behind him.

"I'm going to find Mance."

"Y-you can't do that!" Jon stopped and turned to face Sam. "No one gave you any orders."

"Whose left to give orders? The wildling army's only an army because of Mance. He united a hundred warring tribes, without Mance they lose they're leader. They lose they're purpose, they'll go back to fighting each other, they'll scatter back to their home." Jon explained. He then turned to carry on towards the tunnel.

"Without Mance?!" Sam asked, following closely. "You're going to kill him?!"

"I'm gonna try."

"They'll never let you within a hundred yards of him! And even if they did, even if you managed to kill him-"

"They'll kill me?" Jon finished for him. "They'll kill me anyway, they'll kill the rest of us too."

"They won't just kill you! They'll boil you, they'll kill you, it'll last for days." Sam warned.

Jon stopped once again and turned to face Sam. He knew there was a slim chance of him being able to kill Mance, but he had to try. "I know, it's a bad plan." He said. "What's your plan?"

Sam was quiet. And, knowing that Sam himself had nothing useful, Jon turned to carry on. But his friend called out to him once again, "I need to tell you something!"

"Sam, I'm sure it can wait." Jon replied. He didn't turn around, he had more important things to attend to.

"B-Bella!"

That made Jon halt in his tracks. He slowly turned, eyes narrowed as he looked at Sam: He'd _never_ mentioned Bella to Sam. "W-what?" It was the only word that he could muster, his mind was too busy spinning with questions. How did Sam know Bella?

"She's here." Sam sighed. Jon could tell he was nervous from the way he fidgeted and avoided his eyes.

Jon approached and Sam and asked, "How long has she been here?"

"W-well...t-the thing is-"

"How long, Sam?" Jon hadn't meant to raise his voice, but he couldn't help it.

Sam shrugged and said, "Since before the battle started."

Jon felt infuriated. Why hadn't anyone told him before now? "Why didn't you tell me last night?" He demanded.

"She told me not to!"

"Why?! Why would she say that?! Where is she?!"

"I'm right here, Jon."

That voice. The voice he'd longed to hear for so many months. He could hardly believe it: He couldn't believe it. Jon didn't want to turn around, he'd spent so long without her that he almost didn't want to see her face again. But he had to. The part of him that still loved her was shouting at him inside his head, telling him to turn around and take her as his once again, but Jon knew he had to be careful this time. He'd been foolish enough to believe that she'd stay with him last time, and then she'd left him alone. There was nothing to stop her doing it again.

Jon took a long, deep breath and turned. As soon as he saw her he felt a wave of emotion. It felt like relief, happiness, and love.

"Hello again, my love." Bella smiled.


	5. Chapter V

**Chapter V**

"Hello, my love." Bella smiled.

Jon didn't reply...he couldn't. His mind was spinning. For so long he'd imagined what he'd say when she finally came back, so now for him to be unable to mutter even a 'hello Bella', he felt slightly irritated with himself. He had so many questions for her. Jon wanted to know why she'd stayed away for so long, why his prayers so long ago had gone unheard, and he also longed to know why she had returned now. He couldn't pretend he wasn't happy to see her once again, he'd dreamt of her face every night since the day she'd disappeared in the Godswood, but he also felt anger. She'd _left_ him. Bella had declared her love for him and then disappeared a few days afterwards. Back then he'd finally felt joy over something in his life, Bella had been _his_ and no one else's: Not Robb's, not Theon's, not Lady Stark's...his. When Jon looked back on that very day he felt foolish, she may have been his but she also belonged to the Gods, she had a duty to protect the Godswood and the Woolfswood and he'd been idiotic enough to believe she'd trade it all for him. So he'd long since made a decision: No longer would Bella have a hold over him.

"Bella," Jon greeted stiffly. Her smile faltered but it did not disappear completely. "How are you?"

Bella shrugged and said, "I've been well. And yourself?"

"You know the answer to that, Bella."

"I know, I've been watching."

Jon felt his heart beat slightly faster: She _had_ been watching over him. But that also meant she knew about Ygritte. "I have something to do, Bella."

Bella smiled sympathetically, "I know. Good luck."

Jon nodded and walked passed Bella, heading towards the tunnel entrance, but he had to look back. He hadn't seen Bella in months, maybe a year, he wasn't sure how long it had been yet, but he was expecting her to disappear again like she had before. But somehow, Bella seemed to have been able to tell what he was thinking in that moment.

"I'll be here when you come back, we'll discuss things then. I will wait for you Jon Snow." Bella reassured. Jon nodded and finally turned, heading towards the tunnel with Sam hot at his heels.

~...~...~

 _Jon ran through the hallways of Winterfell Castle, Bella close within his reach._

 _It was these days he enjoyed the most. The days when his Lord Father was out doing his Lordly duties, when Lady Stark had taken Arya and Sansa to be fitted for new dresses, and when Robb had decided to train Bran again with Rickon watching. Because these days he and Bella had the Castle more or less to themselves, and were free to do whatever they wished...within reason of course. Jon was still wary of the servants wandering the castle as most of them were quick to report to Lady Stark or his father, but Bella always managed to ease his worries, all it took was one look or one word and she had him willing to do anything for her: He'd even climb the broken tower if she wished it._

 _Jon swiftly reached out and tugged at the skirts of Bella's thin gown, pulling her back into his arms and locking her in place. "Caught you." He whispered in her ear._

 _Bella giggled and turned in his arms, "Yes, you have me, now what do you plan to do with me?" She asked him, her hands taking place on the back of his neck, playing with his curls._

 _"I plan to take you once more." He told her. Jon then turned and pressed Bella against the stone walls, grinning slightly at the look in her eyes._

 _"Then take me, Jon, here and now." Bella tempted, reaching down for the ties to his breeches. Jon realised just what it was they were about to do and glanced around nervously: What if they were caught?_

 _"Here?" It was more towards himself, but Bella had heard it._

 _"We'll not be caught, I promise you."_

 _Jon nodded, but his worries did not disappear. They'd surely be caught if he loved her here, right in the middle of the hallway, bare for all eyes to see. But there was one place he knew of, a place where no one would find them..._

 _"What are you thinking?" Bella asked quietly, looking up at him with a childlike curiosity._

 _"I know where we can go," Jon took her hand in his and led her down the hallway, turning down multiple stairwells until it became darker and darker, to the point where he had to light the torches to see where he was going._

 _"Where are you taking me?" Bella laughed. She didn't sound nervous and for that he was grateful: It meant she trusted him._

 _When Jon finally reached the end of the dark hall they'd been rushing through, he saw the familiar door he'd stumbled upon many years previous. He quickly opened the wooden door and pulled Bella in, closing it behind him and placing the torch upon the handle on the wall._

 _"Where are we?" Bella asked, her voice slightly clouded with awe._

 _The torch illuminated the room, if only a little. It was still dark, but Jon could see the steam rising from the springs in the middle of the room, and for that he was grateful: It wouldn't do if he and Bella could not find their way around the room._

 _"These are the springs that warm up the Castle, they run through the walls somehow." Jon explained, moving towards the springs. He crouched down and dipped his fingers into the water: It was hot, but not so hot that they'd scold._

 _"How did you find this place?" Bella asked._

 _Jon stood and said, "Robb and I were wandering the Castle one day when we were boys. Robb knew every inch of this Castle as did I, but then we found the stairwell, it was something we'd never seen before...and we were excited. We followed the stairs downwards and eventually came to this room. We stayed here for many hours, so long that they'd began a search for us...well, Robb. No one else knows, no one except you."_

 _Bella smiled excitedly. It seemed she enjoyed the fact that she knew something very few others did. "Can we go in?" She asked._

 _"It seems warm enough." Apparently that was enough for Bella, though. Not a second after the words left his mouth did she untie the strings holding her gown together and let it drop to the floor, revealing her naked form to him...once again. Jon had seen her naked many times, but the feeling of want for her never went away._

 _Bella quickly entered the water and immediately ducked herself underneath, soon coming to the surface so that she could see him. "Aren't you coming in?" She asked. The look on her face seemed innocent, and Jon knew it was anything but. But either way, he wasted no time in stripping down and joining her, wetting his own hair as she had._

 _"Is it warm enough?" Jon asked, leaning back against the rocks._

 _"It's boiling!" She laughed, "But now that I am adjusting, it's beautifully warm." Bella swam closer to him and placed both hands on his shoulders, looking into his eyes. "Do you love me Jon Snow?"_

 _"Yes." Jon answered almost instantly. Bella had been the first woman he'd met who hadn't looked at him strangely after finding out he was a bastard, she didn't care. And since the first day he'd met her she'd taken an interest in no other man but him, which he found rather surprising considering her...wild nature. When they loved Bella seemed satisfied for a minute or two, but would soon climb back onto him begging for them to love again: She had more energy than him, that he knew. But that wasn't the only reason he loved her, he felt something with this woman, and while he was confused at first, he now knew what it was he felt for her. Bella was just as kind as she was attractive. It seemed that while some women were beautiful but bore ugly hearts, Bella had developed a beautiful heart as well as a beautiful face: Something rare in their world._

 _"Do you love me?" Jon asked. Bella paused for a moment and he worried. What if she didn't? What if she was promised to another and was only using him for the time being?_

 _"I do." She said, her eyes narrowed. It seemed she was just as confused about her emotions as he was._

 _Jon smiled and glanced at her lips, "Bella, can I kiss you?"_

 _Bella sighed worriedly and warned, "Jon, you know what will happen if-"_

 _"If my intentions aren't pure, I know." He interrupted her. Jon wasn't trying to be rude, he was trying to let her know that he did take her warnings seriously, but that he was not the type of man to fuck a woman and then leave her._

 _Jon gently gripped the back of Bella's neck and brought her face towards his. Their lips finally touched and he held his breath for a moment. She'd told him that if he were to kiss her, and his intentions were not pure, then he'd die a slow death within minutes. But when, after a moment, he felt nothing, he felt relief hit him. And when he felt Bella unclench her hands and relax into him, he knew that she was also as relieved as he._

 _"You do love me," Bella smiled, pulling away quickly only to kiss him once again._

 _Jon laughed and said, "I will always love you Bella, no matter what."_

* * *

Author's Note:

Hi readers! I'm sorry that it was short and there wasn't much current Jon/Bella moments, but I'm getting there I promise!


	6. Chapter VI

**Chapter VI**

Jon straddled the chair a few feet away from Bella, while she sat straight on his bed. An awkward silence filled the room, but neither seemed too eager to fill it.

Jon stared at Bella, though his mind was elsewhere. It had been a long day for him. He'd attempted to kill Mance, an act that went unfulfilled, and the 'King' was now being held a small cell. Stannis Baratheon and his family were staying in rooms in the Castle, while his army remained close by in their tents. And the thing that haunted his mind: Ygritte's burning. Tormund had told him to burn her on her side of the wall and Jon had, and all he'd felt during it was guilt: Guilt that he hadn't loved her. No. Instead he loved Bella, a woman who'd left him for her duty even though she loved him. Ygritte would have stayed with him, would have stayed loyal to him and him alone. Jon found himself wishing that he'd never met Bella, that she'd pursued Robb instead of him, but even as he said it in his mind he knew he didn't mean it: He'd always love her, no matter what she did to him.

"Jon, say something," Bella said, slightly pleading for him to talk to her. Jon was grateful she'd broken the silence, and his thoughts.

"What do you want me to say, Bella?" He asked. Jon had planned for so long what he'd say once she returned but now his mind was blank.

Bella sighed lightly and said, "Something...anything. Are you still angry with me?"

Jon paused. Was he still mad with her? Yes. She'd told him that she loved him and then left him, claiming she had a duty to the woods and that it would never change. He was angry that she'd let _him_ fall for her. Bella had known that eventually she would have to leave him yet still she spent time with him, they spoke of things he'd never speak of to anyone else...he'd let her in, and she'd left him.

"Yes." He finally replied. Bella nodded and Jon groaned slightly. He was looking for something in her emotions, something that let him know she hadn't taken her heart back from him, but he couldn't see anything, she was hiding herself.

"I-I'm sorry that I left...but I had to." When Bella spoke to him it felt as though she was begging, begging for him to see why she'd had to leave, or maybe begging him for forgiveness. If it was the latter Jon knew he wouldn't have to forgive her: He'd forgiven her as soon as he'd seen her face.

"Was it worth it?" Jon asked. Bella had, by this point, averted her eyes, but Jon knew better: She was guilty. "Leaving me."

Bella looked up and finally their eyes met. She took a long, deep breath and said, "No, it wasn't. I can assure Jon Snow that I have left many men behind but you are the first to make me feel guilty about it."

Jon thought that he'd be bothered by her confession that she'd been with and deserted many men...but he wasn't. After a night in the Library with Sam, who he'd asked to find something on 'Maiden's of the Forest', he'd been well informed by his friend on what these women were like. They were promiscuous women, laying with many but birthing none. Jon had assumed they were this way because of their immortality. He also knew that while they could live as long as they wanted, they could only be killed by one thing: A knife to the heart.

"I also feel the need to inform you, on your family's status." She said at his silence.

"I know that my father is dead, Lady Stark is dead, Robb is dead, Bran and Rickon are dead-"

"No." Bella interrupted him. Jon stared at her, eyes full of confusion. "Bran and Rickon live."

Jon froze. A wave of what felt like relief and happiness rushed over him. His brothers were alive. "How?" He immediately asked, standing from his chair.

"They ran," Bella shrugged. "Theon couldn't find them so he killed two small farm-boys along with the rest of the family, a way to ensure that no one would know Bran and Rickon live. The boys were burnt so that no one could look at the bodies and tell people otherwise."

"What about Arya?" Jon demanded. Now that she'd confirmed the living status of his brothers, he had to know of his sister. He only hoped that she'd escaped King's Landing and still lived.

"Arya is alive."

Jon breathed a sigh of relief and placed his head in his hands. For so long he'd felt empty. Every time a letter reached him, informing him of his family's death, it chipped away at his heart bit by bit. The news of Robb's gruesome and traitorous death had hit him harder than he could of ever imagined. They'd been raised together, they'd trained together and played together as boys, Robb had made him feel like a true-born Stark, not a mere bastard. And when he'd heard of Bran and little Rickon he'd almost died there and then, the same feeling reaching him when word of Arya's disappearance got out. But now that he knew they were alive and well he felt better, almost as though a small weight had been taken off his shoulders.

"Where are they?" He asked.

Bella sighed and said, "I cannot tell you their whereabouts, only of their status, the gods only allow so much."

Jon nodded in understanding. Telling him too much could have disastrous results for her, and he knew he'd never put Bella in danger. "How have you been?" He asked, moving the topic away from his half-siblings.

"I'm...fine. Things have been slightly difficult, the burning of Winterfell was rather distressing." She replied, looking down at the floor once again.

"Who was it?" Jon asked. There had been different rumours, one man had told him it was Theon, another told him it had been Ramsay Snow, a vicious little man from the Dreadfort.

"The bastard from the Dreadfort." Bella spat it out as though the very mention of him left a disgusting taste in her mouth. "He made it seem as though it was Theon first, an attempt to fool Robb, no one knew the Bolton's were traitors until the red wedding. So many died that day, mainly servants from the Castle. I barely managed to keep the Godswood standing." Her voice became quieter and, for the first time, Jon saw sadness fill her eyes, and he didn't like it.

Jon moved towards the bed and sat down next to Bella, letting his right hand take hold of her left. "You kept the Godswood standing, Bella, you did what was asked of you. If you'd tried to save those in the Castle you'd have burnt alive, and you have no idea what would of happened to me if I'd found out."

"I've given up so much for my Gods, Jon, yet I have seen no mercy from them. Half of the Stark family have been murdered, all brutal deaths. And you-" Bella stopped suddenly and she looked away.

"What about me?" Jon pressed, slightly worried.

Bella looked at him and he froze once again. Those eyes. "I left you, I loved you and I had to leave you."

Jon started to lean in and so did she. They hadn't seen each other in months, maybe a year or so, so for them to be together once again was a miracle. But once their lips met Jon began to think rationally. He was a man of the Night's Watch, what he'd done with Ygritte had been bad enough, but for him to do this now with Bella was unforgivable. There was also the fact that she'd broken his heart once before, and he wasn't eager to let it happen again.

Jon reluctantly pulled away and said, "We shouldn't do this again, Bella. I've taken vows and you cannot give yourself to me, this will only end in disaster...again." He moved away from her and started towards the door.

"You gave yourself to the wildling girl," Her words stopped him in his tracks. "why not me?"

"Because you will be the end of me Bella." Was all he replied before leaving the room.


	7. Chapter VII

Author's Note:

Hi guys! Sorry I haven't updated for a bit, been busy with other things, but here is the next chapter! Also, this chapter will be in Bella's POV, so you'll know what's running through her mind during this.

Hope you enjoy it! Don't forget to Review! Thanks!

* * *

 **Chapter VII**

Bella sat in the training yard with Gilly, sewing many of the Night's Watch brothers' clothes. She was good at sewing...she had to be, to survive in the mortals' world she had to learn certain things: Sewing was one. But while she sewed, her mind began to wander.

It had been nearly a week since she and Gilly had come to the Wall, and it had been a few days since she'd had the 'talk' with Jon. He hadn't spoken to her or looked her way since. Bella understood why he was angry, the way they'd left things hadn't been great, and clearly the time they'd spent apart had only added to his anger. Jon had never had anything to call his own, even she knew that, so when he did find something - or someone - to call his own, he wasn't too keen on letting it go...ever. But it wasn't her fault she'd had to leave, the God's had called her, told her that it was time for her to return to the trees, it was something she'd _had_ to do and Bella had hoped that after some time Jon would understand. Bella knew from his actions that still he could not grasp why she'd left him and she knew there was no way to make him understand, it was something he'd have to figure out on his own, hopefully in an easier manner than she had.

Bella looked across the yard to see Jon training with the youngest Night's Watch brother, Olly, only twelve name-days old. He'd seen such horrors for a boy his age, and Bella knew it had tainted his heart and his mind. She could only hope it wouldn't ruin him completely.

"That one hates me," Gilly stated. Bella looked to see Ser Alliser had just passed by: He didn't hide his dislike for them.

"We're women, Gilly." Bella said, glancing up towards the men. "They're probably just jealous."

Gilly narrowed her eyes in confusion and asked, "Jealous?"

"Yes. Jealous. They've taken vows and cannot lay with a woman, yet here we are, and you belong to Sam." Bella explained, a small smile on her face.

"And who d'you belong to?" Gilly asked.

Bella paused and looked up once again. He was completely focused in his training with Olly and she knew better: He was doing it on purpose. She knew she'd hurt him by leaving, but if she'd known it would have this effect she would have never left. "No one."

"But you said you belonged to-"

"Things have changed, Gilly." Bella interrupted her new friend quickly. The last thing she needed was Sam running off to Jon and telling him everything he'd heard, things were bad enough.

"Who's that?"

Bella looked to where Gilly was also looking and her eyes narrowed slightly. Jon talked to the Red Priestess for a moment before following her into the lifter. "That, my dear Gilly, is a whore who prays to a false god." Bella replied. She knew she was being slightly bitter, but her kind had always loathed the Priestess's, mainly because if they did not get their own way, they'd burn anyone and everyone in the name of the 'Lord of Light'. It was rather irritating.

"I wonder what the King wants with Jon," Sam spoke up as they all watch the lifter ascend.

"I'm sure we'll find out soon enough." Bella muttered, looking back down and concentrating on her work.

~...~...~

An hour or two later Bella wandered through the training yard, only this time there were no men training. Instead two or three men stood in the middle, building what appeared to be a pyre. This worried her. Bella wondered what it was the King was planning, or to be more specific...the Red Woman. A King rarely burnt his enemies but the Red Priestess's, well, they burnt whoever believed in a God other than theirs. It was idiotic. The Old God's had never demanded a sacrifice and Bella knew they never would, it was one of the many reasons the Northerners prayed to these God's...they were just.

Bella knew if she wanted to find out anything, she'd have to find Sam. With Jon making it his main priority to ignore her, the only man she had left to tell her _anything_ was Sam. He was sweet and kind, but he was _very_ talkative. So, now with a motivation to find Sam, Bella walked throughout the halls of Castle Black and hoped she'd find him.

She didn't.

Instead Bella almost immediately bumped into a hard form, though thankfully their arms stopped her from falling to the hard, cold ground. She looked up and her heart stopped. Of all the people she could have bumped into, why did it have to be him?

"I'm sorry, I should've watched where I was going," She said, her voice quiet.

"No, the fault was mine, my thoughts were...elsewhere." Jon reassured, his eyes glancing at everything except her.

Bella was annoyed. Yes, she'd left him, but he had no clue on how heart-broken she'd been after she'd departed. She may have been the one to leave him, but that did not mean she did not suffer as much as he. If only she could make him see that.

"I'm sure they were," Bella remarked, the Red Priestess coming to mind. It was true that while her kind were rather sexual in nature, the Red Priestesses were worse. Maiden's of the Forest loved with those they truly desired, the Red Priestesses, however, loved with whoever they thought they could gain something from. And Bella was sure that if the Red Woman at the wall wanted something from Jon, she'd have no qualms in laying with him.

Jon's eyes immediately narrowed at her tone and he said, "What does that mean?"

"Nothing," Bella sighed, lightly shaking her head. "Nothing at all."

"Fine." He sighed. It sounded as though he were letting it go, but she knew better, and she'd spent enough time with him to know he would _never_ let something go. "Where were you going?"

Bella shrugged and said, "I was going to find Sam. I was hoping he would be able to tell me what is going on outside." She gestured to the large window to her right, where they could both clearly see the pyre.

"I could tell you, if you'd like." Jon offered and Bella's eyebrows raised in surprise. He'd spent all this time avoiding her, yet now he wanted to spend time with her...Jon Snow was a confusing man.

"I-yes," She replied rather excitedly, "please explain."

Jon offered his arm to her and she quickly took it, letting him lead her down the hall and towards his chambers. "Stannis Baratheon has given Mance Rayder two choices, one; Bend the knee, join his army with the rest of the wildlings, and be given lands and homes on our side of the Wall. Or two; Refuse and be burnt alive at sun fall." Jon explained to her as they walked. Bella knew it must have been a hard choice for the 'King Beyond the Wall', the free-folk would never bend the knee to a man South of the Wall, but to be burnt alive would be a horrible death.

"And what did the free-folk leader choose?" Bella asked, looking at Jon with wide, curious eyes.

When they both stopped and Jon looked at the floor, hesitant to answer, Bella knew what the 'King' had chosen: Death. But while Bella had hoped he'd chosen to live, she knew he'd never bend the knee...it wasn't their way of life, and it never would be.

"How do you feel about it, Jon?" She asked. His head lifted and their eyes locked, and for a moment, he just looked at her. Bella remembered the last time he looked at her like that. It'd been a very long time ago.

"I feel...disappointed. Why would he choose to burn?" Jon asked, shaking his head exasperatedly. Bella knew he wanted an answer, but she could not give it, not even she could make him see.

Bella shrugged and said, "Maybe when you're leader, you'll understand."

" _When_ I'm leader?" Jon asked.

"You've been avoiding me, Jon." She changed the subject quickly. What she knew he could not know, not yet.

"I've been...busy." He replied, turning away from her to look out the window.

Bella moved forward and ran a hand softly through the curls at the back of his neck, "No, you haven't. I remember the days when you really were busy, you would spend your days training with Robb and Theon or playing with Arya, and at night you would come to me." She whispered in his ear. She took a step back as he turned, a small, amused grin in place.

"If I remember it correctly, it was _you_ who came to _me._ " He said and Bella smiled.

"You're right," She muttered, moving closer to him, "I seem to be mistaken, what I meant was, you used to come _for_ me." Bella closed in until there was no space between them, and slowly trailed her hand downwards.

Jon's eyes closed and he leaned against the wall behind him, letting her do as she pleased...though with some reluctance. "You say that as though I never pleasured you the same." He uttered, finally opening his eyes again.

"Oh, you did my love. I have never had a better lover than you, you took me to the heavens and back, Jon." Bella's hand had, by this point, reached it's destination. She rubbed him through his breeches, a feeling of satisfaction washing over her as he groaned. "Can we love again?" Her tone was hopeful.

"Bella, I am a man of the Night's Watch-" Jon started, only to halt and let out another groan as she pressed harder.

Bella removed her hand and held both of his cheeks, lowering his eyes till they met hers. "Can you love me again, as you did once?" She asked. Bella knew Jon understood what she was asking him.

"No, I cannot." Bella's face fell, and as she was about to walk away, Jon pulled her back. "I cannot love you again, as my love for you never disappeared. You were my first love, and you will be my last." He said, resting his forehead against hers.

Bella smiled, "And you mine."


	8. Chapter VIII

Quick Author's Note:

Hello readers! I'm so sorry that I haven't updated this story in a while, I've had a very bad case of writer's block and been busy with other things. Anyway, in a nut-shell; Writer's Block is gone, everything's sorted here in the real-world, and I'm writing again!

Anyway, thank you guys so much for all the reviews, favourites, and follows, they mean so much and really help motivate me to carry on with this story. Anyhow, you guys know the drill. Review, Favourite and Follow. Thanks!

* * *

 **Chapter VIII**

Bella looked around the courtyard from where she stood and sighed. It was nightfall. Many of the night's watch men had come to see the 'King-Beyond-The-Wall' burn, though a few remained on top of the wall keeping watch.

The sky had turned a beautiful shade of blue and the moon shone bright, casting it's glow over Castle Black. The cold wind that always blew hard this time of year had settled slightly, and Bella knew that the gods were watching. It saddened her that the fate of Mance Rayder had come to this, but Bella knew that his task in this life was done. Everything he'd worked towards would soon show, he'd fulfilled his life's goal and now it was time for him to leave this world, and enter the next. He would either travel upwards, towards the lands of the gods, or downwards, into the hells. His direction would all depend on what kind of man he'd been in his mortal life, and Bella could only hope that he'd been a good man. Though she already knew which way he'd travel.

One of the many doors of Castle Black swung open and the 'King' exited. His wrists were shackled and two guards followed closely behind, most likely making sure the man did not get second thoughts and decide to try and run. But anyone could see that he was not the type of man to run from a fate he could not escape nor change. He walked down the steps leading into the courtyard, staring ahead with a look of complete indifference upon his face.

Bella stared and stood straight, watching silently from Gilly's left hand side. The man she saw before her was not the man she remembered so long ago. He'd aged greatly, something that was inevitable, but there was also something else. He seemed worn and tired and his eyes no longer held the glow it once had. He knew his time had come, it seemed, and was ready to face his fate, no matter how horrid it would be.

"Mance Rayder, you've bee called the King beyond the Wall. But Westeros only has one King. Bend the knee, I promise you mercy." Stannis Baratheon said loudly, for all to hear.

The King beyond the wall remained silent, his eyes scanning those in the courtyard. He first looked towards the few wildling men that stood in the courtyard, clearly in thought over what to reply. They'd been forced to attend the burning of their leader, a demand by Stannis himself. It was his way of showing them what would happen to those that defied him.

Mance Rayder's eyes soon shifted to Jon, who looked back at him with anxious eyes. But they soon travelled once more and quickly landed on Bella. He recognized her, that much was clear. The way his eyes widened and a small smile tugged at his lips was enough for her. She gave him a similar smile in return, though she hoped hers had reassured him a little. Bella gave a quick nod of the head and then he knew; It was definitely his time.

"Bend the knee." Stannis's voice sounded more like a demand than an offer of peace.

"This was my home, for many years." Mance finally replied, glancing at the Castle that stood behind them. "I wish you good fortune in the wars to come."

Bella spared a glance at Jon, who stood next to Sam, and found him lightly shaking his head at the ground. He still did not know why the wildling King had chosen death over life, but Bella knew that one day he'd understand the pressures of it all.

Stannis said nothing. He nodded quickly and the guards led Mance up onto the pyre, unshackling his hands, only to move them behind the pyre beam and shackle them once again.

"Bella," the whisper was quick and in her right ear. She did not reply and kept her face forward, though she lightly tilted her head to show that she was indeed listening. "The gods, what are they saying?"

Bella swallowed and let her head lift straight. A very, very long time ago, she'd shared many secrets with Jon Snow. Too many, in her opinion. One had been how she communicated with the gods and them to her. It was through the wind; A lovely, warm breeze would flow and with it came the whispers. The gods would tell her what she'd have to do next and answer any questions she had, including questions on a man or woman's fate. She could only assume that it was what Jon wanted to know; Mance's fate.

"It's his time, Jon. I will not stop it and the gods will not allow you to either." She replied, some warning to her tone. If he interfered with Mance's death then it would not only be him that is punished, but she as well.

"We all must choose," the Red Priestess, whose name Bella did not care to learn, now stood in front of the pyre, facing the men and her King. "Man or woman, old or young, Lord or peasant, our choices are the same. We choose light, or we choose darkness. We choose good, or we choose evil. We choose the true god, or the false." She then took hold of a torch that had been placed near the pyre. "Free-folk, there is only one true King, and his name is Stannis. Here stands your King of lies, behold the fate of those that choose the darkness."

As the Red Priestess began to light the pyre, Mance Rayder's fear soon began to show. He fidgeted and shifted as the flames grew, a small attempt at pushing back the inevitable. His eyes widened and body began to shake, and by then the fire was already licking at his feet and shins. Mance's eyes flickered towards each person until they reached Bella once more. She wished that she could do something - anything, to take away the fear and pain he would soon feel. But she couldn't. All she could do was stay where she was and hope it would be over as quickly as it had began.

The flames grew higher and higher until soon, they engulfed his entire body. His cries of pain echoed through the silent courtyard until suddenly, they stopped all at once. He gaped and looked down, drawing everyone's eyes to the arrow that had pierced his heart. All those that had come to see the 'King' burn turned their heads, searching for the culprit who'd shown mercy. And, soon enough, they saw him.

Bella sighed sadly as she saw Jon stood on the stairs. He held a large bow and stared at Mance Rayder. She knew going against the so called 'King's' wishes would not do him any good, but she had to admire his boldness.

"Stannis won't be happy about this." Sam muttered to both her and Gilly, who'd hidden her face in Sam's chest, unable to watch the burning any longer.

"No." Bella muttered, watching as her old lover marched away in the Castle. "He won't."

~...~...~...~...~...~

Jon Snow laid down on the bed in his chambers, staring absentmindedly at the ceiling. Ghost lay down beside him on the floor, his large head resting on his paws. Jon found himself unable to sleep, too many thoughts circled his mind, driving him to the bring of insanity.

That night had been a long one. The burning had been too much for him, he'd realised. Mance Rayder did not deserve to die that way, no one did. He should have been given a quick, merciful death, preferably beheading. Jon didn't regret what he'd done, in fact he felt rather proud of himself. Yes, he'd defied Stannis's wishes for the King beyond the wall to burn to death, but he felt no guilt over it. Mance Rayder may have been a fool not to accept Stannis' proposal, but he still did not deserve what the Baratheon King and Red Priestess had demanded. Jon knew that, in time, they'd forget all about the incident. How could they not? They had more important matters to attend to, the war for instance. However, while the Red Woman and so-called 'King' would forget, he knew that his Night's Watch brothers would not. They already thought him a 'wildling-lover' and his earlier act had more or less confirmed it for them. They would not let this slide.

Ghost suddenly jumped to his feet and stared at the door. At first, Jon was confused, and a little worried. But then a knock came...;

"Come in." He said loudly.

The door creaked open and Jon's eyes widened at his nightly 'guest'. She came in and closed the door behind her, but instead of coming further into the room, she chose to lean against the closed door.

"Hello, my love." Bella greeted.

Jon sighed and moved to sit up, shifting till his feet touched the ground and he faced her. "Bella," he greeted, "what are you doing here?"

"I came to see if you were alright." She explained, slowly moving forward. Her eyes flickered towards Ghost, who seemed unbothered by her appearance. "He's grown." She remarked.

"Aye, he has." Jon watched as Bella reached out her hand, gently and carefully stroking behind his Direwolf's ear. "He remembers you."

Bella smiled. "If you did not know already, my love, I am a rather difficult person to forget." Her tone was playful, but Jon could not correct her in her statement.

"That you are." He muttered, more so to himself than her.

"You're stressed, my love." She moved forward passed Ghost and climbed onto the bed behind him. Bella placed both hands a few inches below his shoulders and began to knead.

Jon groaned and let his head fall forward, enjoying the attention and pleasure she was currently giving him. He remembered when she used to do this for him back in Winterfell, it had been a long time ago yet he still remembered the feeling of her skin against his. Jon remembered sparring with Robb and Theon, and in the night when Bella came to him, as she usually did, and rubbed his muscles while he bathed in warm, relaxing water. Things had been so simple then, he'd only worried about them being caught. But now things were different. Now he had more than Catelyn Stark to worry about. He had white-walkers, wildlings, and his Night's Watch brothers to fear. But he was determined to forget all about that, if only for tonight. Tonight he would relax and let the only woman he'd ever loved tend to him.

Bella's hands slid around to his front and she began to undo the laces of his doublet. Jon tensed once again but did not stop her. He merely watched in silence as she quickly removed the leather fabric, sliding it down his arms and throwing it to the floor. She then started on removing his shirt.

"Do not fret, Jon, I only wish to keep you calm tonight. I'll not touch you unless you ask." She whispered reassuring words into his ear and for once, he let himself go.

The feeling only she could strike up in him returned once again, and he thought back to their time in Winterfell. The first few months within meeting he'd been at his happiest, he realised. They'd began getting to know each other more and more with each passing night, until soon there was nothing left to tell. Both had laid everything bare and neither had judged nor condescended, and by the end they knew each other inside out. Bella had told him tales of her time both North and South of the Wall. She told him of the giants, the wildlings, even a few tales on the Direwolves. Ghost had been nothing more than a pup then and he'd been eager to learn more about the creature he'd taken on to raise. And though his stories had never been as detailed and exciting as hers, she listened intently non the less. He remembered how, when he'd begin, she would lay on her front, head raised as she waited patiently, much like Arya had in her younger years when she'd begged Old Nan to tell her a scary story. It didn't matter if his words bored her, she showed nothing but interest in his life and for that he would love her. Always and forever.

"Stay with me tonight." The words flew from between his lips before he could even comprehend what he'd asked of her.

Bella stopped and he turned his head, looking back into the beautiful eyes he loved so much. The one's that captivated him, drew him in, and with a single stare could have him on his knees.

"Y-you're sure?" She asked, eyebrows raised.

"I'm sure."

Everything seemed to go a lot quicker after that. Bella began working at the ties to his breeches, and while Jon knew that he could never love with her again, it did nothing to help his self-restraint. He could only thank the gods that she was not completely bare herself, otherwise he might forget all about his vows - again. There was only so much he could handle, and it was even worse so with Bella. She knew where to touch, where to kiss...everything. If she wanted him that badly, she'd have him. Jon had never been able to refuse her, and nothing much had changed since.

When he'd been stripped down to nothing, Bella moved in front of him. She untied the laces at the front of her gown slowly, as though teasing him.

"You're sure?" Bella repeated, though she continued her movements.

"We cannot love Bella." Jon stated, rolling his eyes at the way his voice appeared. He sounded pleading and desperate and for once didn't try to hide it. She knew the effect she had on him, and was clearly using it to her advantage.

The dress fell to the floor and she stepped out of it, walking passed him and onto the bed. "I know, my love. Lay with me." She demanded and he obeyed.

Jon wasted no time in climbing under the thin pelts with her, letting her settle into his side. He'd forgotten just how much he missed her touch, the feeling of her naked form against his own. There was so many things he'd missed about Bella, and now, in that moment, he couldn't fathom why he'd tried so hard to forget about her. Jon could almost remember his words to Sam about laying with someone. It was true, every word of it. To be so utterly and completely wrapped up in another person was almost bliss, they made you forget your worries and fears and think about them, and only them. For Jon, Bella was his escape.

"I've missed you." Jon admitted, nuzzling the top of her head with his nose.

"And I you." Bella whispered, tilting her head back.

"Will you stay this time? With me?" He was almost pleading with her to stay. Because he knew that, should they start things again, he would not let her leave as easily as he had the first time.

Bella hesitated for a moment, before soon replying. "Of course, my Love. I'll never leave you again."


End file.
